


One Girl's Wish

by Aceflyheight



Series: The Young Stand Tall [1]
Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica, Original Work, Unspecified Fandom
Genre: Action/Adventure, Anxiety, Coming of Age, Female Characters, Female Friendship, Female Protagonist, Female-Centric, Friendship, Gen, Gender Identity, Gender Related, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Female Character, LGBTQ Themes, Magical Girls, Novel, Original Character(s), Original Fiction, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Female Character, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-05-26 18:39:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6251125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aceflyheight/pseuds/Aceflyheight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Contrary to what people say, my name is not John. My name is Sarah and I am a magical girl."</p><p>"Being a magical girl, it's...it's a bloody and dangerous life for a child, but for what it has given me, I wouldn't trade it even for a long safe life."</p><p>- Excerpts from the diary of Sarah Anderson.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 01

**Author's Note:**

> As a quick note, I was inspired to create this story after a weekend binge of Madoka-series followed by the Rebellion movie. That is why I included it in the fandoms list for this story, but no actual characters or events from Madoka will be involved in this story as of right now.

~January 18, 2010~

“John? John Anderson?”

Sarah slowly raised her hand and mumbled a low “here” before the teacher moved onto the next name on the roster. As she lowered her hand though, she noticed it lightly shaking and tried to take a deep breath. A part of her wanted to scream out that her name was Sarah and not John, but she buried that part as quickly as she could. She couldn’t afford to draw any attention to _that_ part of herself right now. Instead, she got out her notebook as she waited for the teacher to finish checking the roster so that they could start class.

Eventually, the bell rang for lunch time and Sarah quickly shoved her notebook into her backpack as she left the room. She slowly made her way through the crowded hallways as she tried to get to the cafeteria as quickly as possible. After all, the sooner that she could get there, the faster that she could eat and get away from the crowd. She finally spied the door to the cafeteria and walked inside only to see the cafeteria was already crowded. She did what she could to hide her uneasiness as she hefted her backpack up a little higher on her shoulders and got into the first line that she saw.

“Here you go. Um, are you even listening?”

Sarah heard the voice and flinched as she glanced up and realized that one of the workers was holding out a tray to her. She quickly nodded as she took the tray and grabbed the first few random pieces of food that she saw on the counter before paying for them. Now, she just had to find somewhere to sit so that she could eat and then get the hell out of the cafeteria. She looked around, but it seemed like every seat was already taken. Eventually though, she finally spied a table with only two people–both of them, girls–sitting at it. She quickly made her way over to the table and asked, “um, do you mind if I sit here too?”

“Not at all,” the girl on the left replied.

Sarah nodded her thanks as she sat down on the opposite side of the table from them.

“You’re…John, right?” the girl on the right asked.

She nodded. “Ye–yeah. How did you know?”

“I sat behind you in class earlier,” she replied matter-of-factly as she brushed a few strands of her shoulder-length brown hair away from her face, “anyway, my name’s Alice and my friend here is Nicole.”

“Nice to meet you both,” Sarah replied, her mind currently split on what to pay attention to: Nicole and Alice, her food, or the crowded cafeteria.

###

Sarah sighed to herself as she took out her phone and checked the date. February 08. Three weeks since she had started school at the academy. Three weeks of hell of being called by the wrong name. She knew that she couldn’t blame anyone at the school though. After all, it wasn’t as if she was out to anybody at all besides herself sadly. As a result, the staff called her by her _legal_ name and gender. As for the other students though, they just did it based on what they could physically see.

“Hey John!”

She paused in her steps and turned around as she heard that only to find Nicole and Alice exiting the school’s main building from behind her. She smiled a little and waved her hand as she waited for the two of them to reach her. She was glad that she had managed to become friends with them. That was perhaps the only thing that had helped to keep her sane during the past three weeks of hell. “Hey Nicole. Hey Alice,” she replied as the two of them finally reached her.

“So, got any plans for today?” Alice asked as she zipped up her coat.

“Well, I was planning on just heading home and getting on the Internet for a couple of hours,” Sarah admitted as the three of them left the school and began to head east towards the town’s mall where the nearest subway station was located, “why?”

“Because we were thinking about stopping by the mall and seeing about getting a copy of Star Ocean: The Last Hope.”

“I thought that game came out last year?”

“Yeah, the version for the 360, but this is a brand new version just for the PS3,” Alice explained.

“It’s supposed to have a few improvements over the original version, as well as dual audio tracks,” Nicole added after a moment.

“Oh,” Sarah replied before she brightened a little, “mind if I come along then?”

“Of course we don’t, you dork,” Alice said with a grin, “after all, why do you think that we were asking about your plans for today?”

Sarah sheepishly smiled a little and chuckled nervously. “Sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry about. Now come on, let’s get there before the store closes.”

###

“Star Ocean: The Last Hope International Edition. Can’t wait to get back home and pop this game in,” Alice said, grinning as the three of them walked away from the store.

“Don’t you have homework though?” Nicole lightly teased.

“Yeah, yeah, but game first then homework.”

Sarah couldn’t help but smile a little as she listened to Alice and Nicole talk until she saw something race by them out of the corner of her eye. By the time that she had jerked her head towards that side, it was already long gone. She wondered what it had been for a moment. A dog maybe? No, it couldn’t have been. It didn’t move anything like any dog that she had ever seen.

“John?”

Sarah snapped her head back and saw Alice and Nicole standing several feet ahead of her and looking back at her. She chuckled nervously as she realized that she had stopped moving when she had been paying attention to whatever that thing had been. “I’m okay. Just thought that I saw something,” she explained before she caught back up with them.

“Oh, okay,” Alice replied as the three of them continued to make their way towards the subway station so that they could get home before it got too dark.

As they finally reached the subway station and swiped their cards though, Nicole suddenly froze in her steps.

“What’s wrong, Nicole?” Sarah asked as she glanced over her shoulder at her friend.

“Can’t you guys hear it?”

“Hear what?” Alice asked before suddenly screaming as every pane of glass in the subway shattered followed by some kind of howl that sent shivers down Sarah’s spine.

“Wha–what was that?” Sarah asked before she suddenly heard a voice speaking from somewhere around them. It was soft, unlike the howl earlier, yet she could hear it as clear as day.

“ ** _It’s coming._** ”

“What’s coming?” Alice called out as Sarah realized that she wasn’t the only one that could hear the voice.

“ ** _There is no time to explain. You must make a contract with me._** ”

“Contract? What the hell are you talking about?” Sarah asked as she heard another howl in the distance. Whatever the creature it was…it was getting closer.

“ ** _I will explain later. Please, make a contract with me before it is too late._** ”

“This is a dream. It’s got to be,” Nicole whispered before a third howl could be heard and every light in the subway went out, plunging them into pitch-blackness.

“Oh…shit,” Sarah mumbled as she saw three pairs of red eyes staring at them from within the darkness.

“ ** _Please! You’re out of time! You must make a contract now!_** ”

As one of the pairs of red eyes lunged at Sarah, she closed her eyes and called out to the mysterious voice. After a few moments, she realized that she wasn’t dead and slowly opened her eyes to see that everything was quiet around her. She glanced around, but she couldn’t find Nicole or Alice. She also didn’t see a single pair of red eyes anywhere in the darkness still around her.

“ ** _Thank you._** ”

“What?”

“ ** _For calling out to me for assistance._** ”

“Who are you?” she asked.

“ ** _Once upon a time, I went by many names but you may call me Cypher,_** ” the voice said right before Sarah could hear what sounded like paws on concrete and looked down at her feet only to see a small white cat with black paws.

“Okay _Cypher_ , but what happened? Where am I? Where are Nicole and Alice?”

“ ** _You are in a trans-dimensional bubble right now. Essentially, you are outside of time as you humans understand it. It was the only thing that I could think of to keep you safe. As for your friends. They are also in their own bubbles right now. They are just as safe as you. I cannot keep these bubbles active for long though. I need you to make a contract with me so that you can save yourself and your friends from the creatures that you saw._** ”

“…this is so messed up,” Sarah mumbled under her breath before glancing down at the small cat, “okay fine, how do I make a contract with you?”

“ ** _Just ask me for the power to protect yourself and your friends. Nothing more or less._** ”

Sarah had a bad feeling about this, but she didn’t really have a choice from what she could tell. “Fine, give me the power to protect myself and my friends!” she yelled without knowing why she was even yelling. A moment later, she felt herself collapse to the ground and began screaming. It felt like every inch of her body was on fire. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t do anything but scream and scream and scream.

“ ** _The bubble is fading. Sarah, rise to your feet. You must fight._** ”

As those words echoed in her ears, Sarah felt the fiery pain coursing through her body suddenly freeze. It was still there, but it felt like it was a million miles away now. She slowly climbed to her feet and as she did so, she nearly fell back down to the ground. She caught herself though and was able to stand on her feet finally just as she saw a pair of red eyes only inches from her face. As if on instinct, she ducked just in time as the creature lunged towards her causing it to barely miss her. Before it could recover though, Sarah felt her body go on auto-pilot and she reached out in front of her with her right hand. With a flick of her wrist, she saw a bright light and felt something heavy suddenly appear in her hand. When the light dimmed, she felt her eyes widen as she realized that she was holding a frickin’ _sword_. Just then though, she heard a growl and gripped the sword in both hands as she twirled on the spot just in time to catch the creature as it lunged for her throat. She heard a cry and a tearing sound before she pulled her sword back before swinging again and again and again.

With the final swing, she finally heard the creature give off a loud shriek and felt her sword disappear from her hand before she realized that the darkness was beginning to recede. At first all she could see was the floor around her, but soon she could begin to make out the rest of the subway station. Eventually, she even saw Alice and Nicole as well even though all she could think of was about what the hell that they were wearing. Alice was wearing what looked like something out of Sailor Moon except with more frills and knee high boots. Nicole on the other hand was wearing some kind of frill covered vest with a knee length skirt and heels. There was also the fact that both of their hairstyles were completely different from just a few minutes ago. Alice’s hair that was normally down to her shoulders when she braided it was now flowing behind her down to her knees. At the same time, Nicole’s hair that normally reached to just below her ears in a short bob was now in a braid that extended down to about her waist.

“John?”

Sarah heard Alice’s voice and realized that the two of them were staring at her. She realized why after a moment as she glanced downwards. She felt her eyes widen as she realized that she was wearing a similar outfit to theirs: a girl’s dress shirt underneath a bustier that was holding up breasts that were _not_ there just minutes before, a short skirt, and boots that reached about halfway up to her knees. As she continued to stare at her own body, she suddenly reached up to feel of her head and realized that her own short shaggy hair was not only done up in twin tails but now reached nearly down to her hips. “Wha…what’s going on?” she asked.

“ ** _Each of you verbally signed a contract with me. As for your appearance, it has been changed for each of you to better reflect your role as a magical girl. You can think of these forms as uniforms,_** ” Cypher said as he walked towards them, his paws echoing off the concrete floor.

“Magical…girls?” Sarah mumbled as she fell to her knees and tried to make sense of just what the hell was going on.

“What the hell’s a magical girl?” Alice asked as her and Nicole both rushed over to Sarah’s side.

“ ** _Protectors._** ”

“Protectors of what?” Alice countered while Nicole lightly shook Sarah’s shoulders.

“John? John, are you okay?” Nicole asked only for Sarah to tense up at the words.

“ ** _Protectors of yourselves and the rest of the human race. You are the light that keeps the darkness at bay._** ”

“Why can’t somebody else do it? We’re just kids!” Alice asked, not even realizing that she was screaming.

“ ** _There is no reason to yell, Alice. Yes, there are others who could protect the human race, but they have not yet signed a contract with me. Now, I will see each of you tomorrow,_** ” Cypher said before Sarah’s body suddenly felt as if it had been completely drained of energy. As her eyes closed though, the last thing that she saw was Alice and Nicole’s bodies crumpling to the ground as if their bodies were being drained just as hers.


	2. Chapter 02

~February 09, 2010~

“…mmph…” Sarah mumbled groggily as she slowly opened her eyes and saw a very familiar cream-colored ceiling staring back at her. She stared at the ceiling for a moment longer before she remembered what had happened. She quickly threw the covers off of herself and ran her hands up and down her body only to realize that it was her normal body…her normal _male_ body. She felt herself start shaking as she started talking to herself. “It was just a dream, Sarah. It was just a dream. Just a dream. Just a dream.” She began crying, but she didn’t know why. At least…not for sure. Part of her thought that it was relief over those creatures in the darkness not being real. Another part though thought that it was sorrow over the magical girl part not being real. A chance to have the body that she felt like she should have been born with and it was nothing but a damn dream.

“ ** _Sarah? Why are you crying?_** ”

She felt her breath hitch in her throat at the sound of that voice and saw Cypher staring at her from the chair in front of her computer. “You…then everything–”

“ ** _Yes, it was real. You are a magical girl, Sarah Anderson._** ”

“What…what happened to us yesterday?”

“ ** _You all fainted after your fight yesterday. I transported each of your bodies back home so that you would be safe until morning and would not rouse suspicions among your families._** ”

Sarah glanced down at her hands at that. “Cypher?”

“ ** _Yes?_** ”

“Why do I look like _me_ again?”

“ ** _As I said yesterday, the transformed state that each of you were in is the fighting form of a magical girl. I said specifically that those forms could be thought of as uniforms. When you fell unconscious yesterday, you returned to your normal form. Your body could no longer hold the form of a magical girl at that point._** ”

“…how can I get it back?” she asked although she had a feeling that it sounded more like a plea. She was even more certain that it had come out as a plea when she saw what looked like Cypher’s imitation of a human smile.

“ ** _Feel under your shirt._** ”

Sarah put one of her hands down the top of her shirt and touched something cold. She grabbed the object with her fingers and pulled it out from underneath her shirt and felt her eyes widen as she looked at it. It was some kind of amulet with a ruby embedded in the center with writing all around it although she didn’t have a clue what it said. After a moment, she noticed the loop of leather that acted as a chain just as Cypher began to speak again.

“ ** _Now, all you have to do is focus on the jewel embedded in the amulet. Focus your attention on it and feel the energy inside it. Feel it tickle the tips of your fingers._** ”

Sarah did what she was told and began to focus on the jewel. After a few moments, she began to feel her surroundings become distant to her as if all that existed was just her and the power inside the jewel. She felt the energy leaking from the jewel and had to keep herself from giggling as it brushed against her fingers.

“ ** _Now, grab ahold of the energy. Grab it and don’t let go._** ”

She suddenly clenched her hand tighter around the amulet and she felt the fiery pain from yesterday again, but this time it suddenly froze before it could even begin to hurt her. Just like yesterday though, she could still feel it although this time it felt almost kind of comforting in a strange way.

“ ** _Now, pull your attention back from the jewel. Release your grip on the jewel, but don’t let go of the energy._** ”

Sarah slowly let go of the amulet and felt it drop to her chest. As she did so, she felt her surroundings suddenly come alive to her. The air, the feel of the bed against her back, the light coming through the window–to her, it felt like her senses being reborn.

“ ** _Okay, now look down._** ”

Sarah did so and couldn’t help but begin crying tears of what she presumed to be joy as she saw the clothes and body that she had seen yesterday. After a few moments, she was able to finally stop crying and undid the ribbons that held her hair up, causing the twin tails to fall down into a waterfall of hair that covered her body down to her hips. She ran her hands through the long locks before glancing down at the bustier and skirt, knowing from what she had looked at on the net, exactly what was underneath them.

“John! Are you up yet?”

“Oh shit…” she mumbled as she heard her dad’s voice. “Yea…yeah! I’m up! Just getting ready to head to school!” she finally managed to yell back after a few moments. With that done, she listened for footsteps and was glad when she didn’t hear any outside her room. She glanced down at herself and realized that no matter how much she wanted to remain as she was right now that she had to get ready for school. “Cypher?”

“ ** _Just let go of the energy._** ”

Sarah nodded her thanks and saw the clothes, the hair, and the body swapped for her normal self in a quick flash of light. She felt her hands begin to shake again and tried to keep them steady as she told herself that she could make it through the rest of the day as John yet again like always. She slowly got off of the bed and made her way to her closet before grabbing a random t-shirt and pair of blue jeans. As she began to take off her clothes though, she froze as she finally realized that Cypher was still there in her computer chair.

“ ** _Do you want me to leave while you change?_** ”

Sarah shook her head. “No, I just…could you maybe just look away? I mean, at least until I’m done?”

“ ** _Of course._** ”

“Thank you,” Sarah replied as she stripped off her clothes and began to pull on her new ones before a thought came to her mind. “Cypher?”

“ ** _Yes?_** ”

“Yesterday and today…you keep calling me Sarah. Why?” she asked and could have sworn that she could _feel_ Cypher smiling even though she could only see his back.

“ ** _Because it is your name, is it not? If you wish though, I could instead call you by the name the people of this world know you as…John._** ”

Sarah bit her lip at the way her male name rolled off his tongue and had to force herself to focus on zipping up her blue jeans as she mumbled under her breath, “I don’t want to be called John.”

“ ** _Then I will refer to you as Sarah._** ”

Sarah nodded as she finally finished changing clothes and headed into the bathroom at the far side of her room. As she went to work on brushing her teeth as well as the rest of her morning routine, she heard Cypher talking again.

“ ** _In regards to your question a minute ago, Sarah, you yourself revealed your name. Before yesterday, I had been following each of you to determine whether your essence was strong enough to handle the duties of a magical girl. And you, Sarah, have a tendency to speak your name over and over when you believe yourself to be alone._** ”

“Essence?” she asked, subconsciously feeling her body freeze up at his words about ‘following’ each of them without any of them knowing.

“ ** _Inner strength. Determination. Willpower. Do you understand these concepts?_** ”

“Um, yeah, I suppose so.”

“ ** _Good. Then you can think of essence as being a physical manifestation of those concepts. The pendant that you now wear is a conduit for your essence to flow into the jewel and mix with the energy there that allows a physical transformation into your form as a magical girl._** ”

“Okay, I think that I understand,” Sarah said as she left the bathroom and noticed that Cypher still had his back turned to her, “and, um, feel free to turn back around if you want.”

“ ** _Good._** ”

With that one word, Sarah watched as Cypher jumped down from the chair and walked slowly towards her. “Um, where are you going?” she asked, although she had a feeling that she knew exactly where he was planning on going.

“ ** _To your destination. School. Academy, as you call it._** ”

“Why?”

“ ** _Because your fellow magical girls will be there. I need to discuss things with them as I have with you and explain what I require of each of you. And do not worry, no one else will notice my presence beyond you, Nicole, and Alice. My very existence is masked to those whose essence is anchored and locked deep inside their minds._** ”

“Okay,” Sarah mumbled as she left her room and began to head downstairs so that she could grab her backpack and her shoes before heading off for school.


	3. Chapter 03

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry in advance if this chapter's a bit rough in comparison to the previous two. I've been dealing with a combination of lack of sleep off and on for the past week as well as studying for upcoming tests.

~February 09, 2010~

“Cypher, I’ve got another question.”

“ ** _Hmm?_** ”

“You’ve been explicitly using the term ‘magical girls’ to describe us…does that mean that–”

“ ** _No, the magical girls in human media are not real. Some were inspired by real magical girls though. Ones who were careless and were seen by regular humans who stumbled into the center of their battles. Luckily, the human mind that is able to fully comprehend what it saw is rare. Your normal human is likely to dismiss what they saw as a dream or quickly go insane as they try and fail to reconcile what they see with their personal worldview._** ”

“So…other people can see us when we’re in those forms.”

“ ** _Does that bother you?_** ”

“Um…no, but, can other people tell that it’s _us_ when we’re transformed?”

“ ** _Yes and no._** ”

“Mind explaining?”

“ ** _Other people won’t be able to recognize you in your magical girl form normally…unless you transform in front of them._** ”

Sarah simply nodded as she continued to walk. What Cypher had said–it had given her an idea. As long as she was careful about _when_ she transformed, she could actually go out and be herself. She felt a small smile come to her face at the thought and had to focus to keep it from turning into a grin as she found herself at the front steps of the academy. As she stepped onto the first concrete step though, she felt herself freeze as it finally sunk into her head what Cypher had said when they had left her house.

“ ** _Sarah?_** ”

“You…back in my room, you said that you needed to talk with them like you did with me and…oh god, what am I going to say to them…” she mumbled as her mind began to swim with worry. Nicole and Alice. They still thought of her as a boy. How was she going to handle talking to them about this? Should she try claiming to them that being a magical girl felt weird and wrong, but that she felt like she ‘had’ to do it? Should she try convincing them that being a magical girl didn’t bother her and that it didn’t make her any ‘less’ of a man? Or should she just tell them the truth? Just tell them point-blank that she wasn’t really a guy like they believed her to be and that being able to have the form that the transformation gave her was one of the happiest moments of her life so far?

“ ** _Breathe._** ”

Sarah snapped her head over at Cypher before she felt a familiar tingling in her fingers and a sharpness in her chest. Her eyes widened before she squeezed them shut as hard as she could and began to count. She focused on slowing her breathing rate down until it matched her counting speed. Eventually, she felt her breathing return to normal while the tingling sensation and the sharpness began to slowly dull. She slowly opened her eyes and tried to smile at Cypher as her body continued to calm down. “Thank you,” she whispered and saw Cypher nod his head in return.

“ ** _The bell is about to ring. Are you good to go?_** ”

“…I think so,” she replied, still whispering before she slowly made her way step by careful step up the concrete steps.

###

For what must have been the tenth time in as many minutes, Sarah took her phone out and checked the time. 11:45. She sighed as she stuffed the phone back into her pocket and resumed tapping her fingers against her leg. She tried to allow her body and mind to lose themselves in that simple motion as she waited for noon to finally arrive.

She _had_ originally planned on going to class and then explain things _somehow_ at lunchtime. That plan had gone up in smoke though as soon as she had walked through the front door of the school and realized that she would have to deal with Alice sitting behind her in class and trying to ask her about what the _hell_ had happened yesterday through the entire class time until it would be over eventually. Instead, she had spent the past few hours in the boys’ bathroom behind a locked stall door while waiting for the lunch bell to ring at noon.

She took a deep breath as she checked her phone again. 11:52. She sighed again as she stuffed the phone back in her pocket before she heard the tell-tale echo of Cypher’s paws on the tiles that made up the bathroom’s floor. “So, what do you think?” she asked.

“ ** _Too small and too crowded._** ”

Sarah thought that she heard a bit of disgust in Cypher’s voice, but she wasn’t sure until Cypher entered the stall from the space underneath, revealing the disheveled fur on his tail. “Did somebody step on you?” she asked.

“ ** _As I said: this building is too small and too crowded. Now, we should be going. Alice and Nicole will be on their way to the cafeteria soon._** ”

“…yeah, I know,” she mumbled at the reminder before she got to her feet and unlatched the stall door. As she walked out of the stall though, she suddenly felt a weight land on her left shoulder. She didn’t need to glance though to figure out what it was though. She knew that it was Cypher and she knew that he was doing it to reduce his risk of getting stepped on during the lunch rush.

###

Sarah tried to keep her breathing stable and her hands steady at her sides as she weaved her way through the crowd in the cafeteria, looking for Nicole and Alice. She knew that they would both be sitting together. The only question was which table they would be at.

“ ** _Look to your left, Sarah. Three tables down._** ”

Sarah glanced through the crowd at where Cypher told her to and saw Nicole and Alice sitting and talking. “Thank you,” she whispered as she carefully made her way through the crowd and slowly approached the table, waiting for them to notice her.

“Hey John! What happened? Sleep in la…” Alice began, only to trail off as her eyes settled on Cypher still sitting on Sarah’s shoulder, “…that thing, but…it can’t be—”

“ ** _Hello Alice. Hello Nicole._** ”

“So yesterday…” Nicole began only to be cut off by Cypher as he leapt from Sarah’s shoulder onto the table.

“ ** _‘Was real’? Yes, Nicole, it was._** ”

Sarah watched as Nicole and Alice seemed to be trying to process that what happened yesterday had been real and not a dream. She already knew from her own experience earlier some of what was likely going through their minds.

“ ** _Now, I have already explained certain things to Sarah before we arrived here about being a magical girl. In particular, how to activate your magical girl form, which I will show you once you arrive at each of your homes later today. Right now though, we must discuss what I need of each of you._** ”

“No, I’m not listening to anymore of this. This magical girl thing. I am _not_ doing it again. Ever,” Alice said.

“ ** _I’m sorry, but you can’t just ‘not’ do it, Alice._** ”

“And just why not?” Alice asked.

“ ** _Because you will die,_** ” Cypher said matter-of-factly before stretching out on the table, “ ** _now, may we get back to the discussion at hand? As I was about to say, each of you are magical girls now as a result of contracting with me yesterday. As I said to you at that time, the three of you are this world’s protectors against threats such as the creatures that attacked you yesterday. Thus, this is all that I need of you: protect the people around you and keep this world safe._** ”

“Even if we don’t want to risk our lives protecting people…then those creatures will still come after us regardless. That’s what you meant when you said that we’d die if we don’t act like the ‘magical girls’ that you want us to, am I right?” Nicole asked, a slight tremor badly hidden underneath her words.

“ ** _You’re correct, Nicole. Now, can I trust that each of you understand the basics of the situation?_** ” Cypher asked.

Each of them nodded. What other choice did they have?

“Wait, who’s ‘Sarah’?” Alice asked.

Sarah jerked her head down to stare at the table as she heard that question and felt her face begin to burn as Nicole and Alice’s attention focused on her thanks to her sudden movements.

“ ** _She is the girl in front of you._** ”

“What are you talking about? The only person in front of us besides _you_ is just John and he’s a guy, not a girl,” Alice said, before leaning across the table towards Sarah, “John, why is he calling you a girl? This thing…whatever he is, he knows that you’re a guy, right?”

Sarah tried to say something–anything–to answer Alice, but her mind was blank. Eventually, she managed to mumble something under her breath.

“John? I can’t understand what you’re saying,” Alice said, seemingly struggling to understand Sarah’s mumbling.

“I’m not…I’m not a guy,” Sarah mumbled louder than she meant to before looking around in a panic to make sure that no one else had heard her.

“What do you mean that you’re not a guy?” Alice asked.

“I…it’s…I mean…” Sarah began only to trail off as her mind blanked on her again.

“You’re transgender, right John?” Nicole asked, finally speaking up.

Sarah nodded and gripped her blue jeans tightly in her hands. Every last nerve in her body was telling her to get up and run. Before she could though, she noticed a small smile on Nicole’s face.

“Transgender?” Alice asked.

“Later,” Nicole replied before turning her attention back to Sarah, “She and Sarah, right?”

Sarah nodded again, her body still in flight mode but slowly calming down as her mind began to realize that at least Nicole didn’t hate her for what she was.

“Okay, th…” Nicole began before she was cut off by the ringing of the school bell, “Sarah, we’ll talk about this later after we’re done with class.”

Sarah nodded and watched as Nicole and Alice walked away, Alice still questioning Nicole about what ‘transgender’ meant until they were out of sight. Once they were gone, Sarah sighed and slowly got to her feet as she hoped that Alice wouldn’t hate her once she found out what that word meant and how it related to her. She felt Cypher clamber back onto her shoulder before she began to head to class.

“Cypher, why did you do that? Why did you call me Sarah in front of them? Do you know what it could have been like if they had re–”

“ ** _You stated earlier to me that you did not want to be referred to as ‘John’. I only did as you asked me too._** ”

Sarah clenched her jaw somewhat at what he said. He _had_ done exactly as she had asked him to–nothing more or less. She breathed deeply before focusing on the crowded hallway while trying to ignore Cypher’s presence on her shoulder. She needed to focus on the rest of the school day and then meet up with Alice and Nicole. She needed to focus on that right now and nothing else.


	4. Chapter 04

~February 09, 2010~

Sarah slowed her pace as she spied the small house just ahead of her and grimaced as she heard an all-too familiar tap-tap-tap sound originating from her side. She stuffed both of her hands in her pockets before she resumed her normal pace while thinking about the text that she had got from Nicole during her last class. All that it had said was for Sarah to please meet both of them at her house after class. She still didn’t know why Nicole had sent her a text like that instead of the three of them just meeting up at school after their last classes and not being able to figure that out had kept her nerves shot for the entire walk so far from the academy to Nicole’s house.

Even so though, there was one good thing about the long walk from the academy to Nicole’s house and that was the lack of Cypher. Thankfully, he had left during her last class saying that he was going to ‘explore’ more of the surrounding area and hadn’t returned to her side yet. If she was being honest with herself though, there was a part of Sarah that hoped that he never came back. She still couldn’t get over the fact that he had outed her to Nicole and Alice and what made things worse was that she didn’t know why he had done it. She didn’t know if he did it because he didn’t understand what the possible consequences were and really was doing it just because she had asked him to…or maybe he did it intentionally and knew what the possible outcomes could have been.

Sarah could feel her jaw beginning to hurt and tried to make her body relax as she realized that she had been clenching her jaw for at least the past few minutes. She hated not knowing and she didn’t know what weighed on her mind more at the moment: Alice’s still unknown reaction, Nicole’s unknown reasons for her to come to her house, or Cypher’s actions earlier. She let out a single shaky breath as she tried to tell herself to focus on her feet and the sound of her shoes on the concrete.

Eventually, she finally found herself standing in front of Nicole’s house and slowly pulled her hand from her pocket. She hesitated as her fingertip came into contact with the doorbell though and froze as she felt tingling in the fingers on that hand. She squeezed her eyes shut as she realized that her breathing was becoming uneven in addition to the tingling in her fingers. “One…two…three…” she whispered under her breath as she began to count and tried to focus on matching her breathing rate to her counting speed. By the time that she reached twelve, her breathing had finally returned to normal and she forced herself to press the doorbell before her body could betray her twice in a row.

Sarah heard a click after a few moments as the door was unlocked and she couldn’t help the step backwards that her body took before she saw the door open and reveal Nicole standing there. She tried to smile at Nicole and gave her an awkward wave for a ‘hi’. As she did so though, she had to admit to herself that she had a bad feeling that the gesture probably came off as wanting to run or at the very least not wanting to be anywhere but back in her room with the door locked.

“Hey Sarah,” Nicole said, smiling.

“Hi Nicole,” Sarah managed to say eventually. Part of her still wanted to leave, but part of her wanted no less than to grab Nicole and hug her as tightly as she could. Instead, she just stood there like an idiot without a clue as to what to do.

“Well, come on in,” Nicole told her before she turned around and headed inside.

After a few moments, Sarah followed her lead only to see Nicole pause in the living room and call out Alice’s name while Sarah was still working on trying to slip her shoes off. Before she could even stand back up straight, she heard footsteps and caught a glimpse of Alice walking in from the kitchen. “Alice, I…” she began as she stood back up straight only to trail off as her mind went blank on her as Alice continued walking towards them. She saw Alice eventually stop just a couple of feet in front of her and waited for whatever Alice was going to say about her.

“Nicole…she…explained to me earlier about the whole transgender thing…or at least the basics according to her. To be honest, I don’t get it. I mean, I really don’t get why or even how somebody would feel like their body’s wrong in that kind of way, but…” Alice paused and smiled a little, “you’re still my friend regardless. If calling you Sarah makes you more comfortable than being called John, then okay, I’ll—”

Alice didn’t get a chance to finish as Sarah suddenly enveloped her in a tight hug and mumbled ‘thank you’ over and over again.

“Um Sarah, I know that I’m a very huggable person, but I’m starting to have trouble breathing,” Alice told her before feeling Sarah release her grip and take a step back, smiling nervously.

“Sorry Alice, I was just so worried earlier and now…what you said, I…” Sarah began only to trail off as she saw the warm smile on Alice’s face.

“Nah, nothing to be sorry about. Like I said: I don’t get it, but it doesn’t change that you’re still my friend. Now, how about some gaming before you head home?” Alice asked before turning towards Nicole, “hey Nicole? You still have my old copy of Resident Evil 5, right?”

Nicole playfully rolled her eyes a little before she nodded. “Yeah. My room. Top shelf.”

“Okay, great. Sarah, up for some co-op?”

“Sure, but I’ve got dibs on Sheva,” she replied and couldn’t help but smile as she saw Alice nod before she left to go get the PS3 set up.

“Sarah?”

“Hmm?” she asked as she glanced over at Nicole.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, well, okay, maybe I’m feeling a little too happy and kind of want to start jumping and cheering. Besides that though, yeah, I am.”

“Glad to hear it. Back at school, once I was sure that Alice was okay with who you are, I figured that doing things this way might be for the best since we could make sure that no one would overhear anything unlike back at school.”

“Thanks, Nicole,” she replied and saw Nicole nod her head.

“Alice should just about have the PS3 connected by now. Ready to head to my room before she starts yelling for us to hurry up?” Nicole asked with a smile.

“Definitely. And thank you again, Nicole, for everything today,” Sarah replied before she felt Nicole hug her.

“Just happy to help and if you ever need somebody to talk to, just know I’m here and so is Alice,” she said before she let go of Sarah and saw Sarah nod her head, “okay, let’s get going then.”

With that said, the two of them headed up the stairs towards Nicole’s room and, for the first time all day since she had left her house, Sarah finally felt like she was okay instead of feeling like she was only a step away from her body threatening to fall apart on her.


	5. Chapter 05

~February 10, 2010~

2:00 a.m.

Sarah groaned a little as her eyes saw the mocking numbers on her alarm clock before she pulled the covers back over her body and curled up on her bed. Five hours since she had gone to bed and she still hadn’t managed to get a single minute’s worth of sleep. The worst part was that she knew exactly why she couldn’t sleep. She was happy. Too happy for sleep to even be a remote possibility. Just the fact that neither Alice nor Nicole hated her let alone the fact that they both promised to be there for her if she ever needed them was enough to keep her awake for the entire night.

She groaned a little as she tossed the covers back off of her body and stretched out on her back so that she could stare at the ceiling yet again. As she did so though, she felt the amulet shift against her skin underneath her shirt and she smiled as an idea came to her mind. An idea that she could not believe that she hadn’t thought of the entire night. She snaked her hand underneath her shirt and pulled the amulet out so that she could see it in even in the darkness of the room. She focused her vision on the ruby embedded in the amulet for a moment before she took a deep breath and slowly closed her eyes. She tried to focus on what Cypher had told her and after a few moments she could feel the energy leaking out of the amulet. She slowly gripped the amulet tighter with her hand and felt that familiar frozen fire course through her body just like before. With the smile still on her face, she released her grip on the amulet and felt _every_ thing around her come to life just like the day before.

Sarah slowly opened her eyes and her smile grew wider as she was confronted with the same comforting sight as she had been when she had transformed the last time. In response to the sight, she couldn’t help but quickly sit up in her bed and wrap her arms around herself as she tried to keep from laughing in glee before she glanced over at her window.

###

Sarah couldn’t believe it. She grinned as she glanced at the gap that she had just crossed before she began laughing as she sat down on the roof of the gas station to catch her breath. She retrieved her phone from where she had tucked it into her bustier, which she had to admit was either a very awkward place to put something like a phone or maybe she was just doing it wrong. Either way, she was definitely going to need to remember to ask Nicole and Alice for suggestions. She glanced down at her phone and typed in her best estimate of the gap between the gas station’s roof and the old building next to it into her notes before she checked the time and tucked it back down into her bustier.

4:00 a.m.

She still had two more hours until her dad would be up to check on her and make sure that she wasn’t going to sleep in and miss school. That meant that she could still easily spend an hour at the least in town and then head back around five or so. She grinned a little at that realization before she got to her feet and decided to test her magical girl form’s jumping distance a little further. She made her way to the opposite side of the gas station’s roof and glanced down at the concrete and the grass that was just beyond it. She made her way back to the other side of the roof and took a deep breath as she readied herself for her jump.

In the blink of an eye, she took off running and launched herself off the edge of the roof. As her momentum carried her off for a moment, she was overtaken with the sound and feel of the air surrounding her, but she forced herself to keep her eyes open and focused. With a grin, she managed to clear six more feet of air than she did back on the roof earlier before she began to fall towards the ground. She managed to land exactly on her feet on the grass only to lose her balance as she forgot to take her momentum into thought and stumbled forward, planting her face into the dew-covered grass.

She groaned as she flipped herself onto her back and tried to wipe the wet grass and a bit of mud from her face before smiling as she stared up at the stars. Even after the jumps, the wall runs, the falls—everything that she had put her magical girl form through the past few hours—she was amazed at how she currently felt. Her heart rate was steady. Her breathing wasn’t even ragged in the slightest after everything that she had done. No soreness in her legs. Her whole body still felt as energized as it had when she started. She felt like she could keep going like this for forever.

###

“ ** _Hello Sarah._** ”

Sarah couldn’t help the squeak that she let out as she accidentally slammed the window down out of surprise before she caught a glimpse of Cypher curled up on the edge of her bed. “Back from exploring?” she asked while trying to keep her voice even as her mind reminded her what he had done yesterday.

“ ** _I finished my explorations late yesterday evening._** ”

“Then, where have you been?” she asked as she walked over to her computer chair and sat down.

“ ** _I have been with Alice and Nicole since you left Nicole’s house. My time was spent teaching them how to activate and utilize their magical girl forms as I said to each of you that I would. Alice proved to be…problematic in regards to her ability to focus. Nicole is a natural-born magical girl though._** ”

“I remember, but…wait, did you just say ‘since I left Nicole’s’?”

“ ** _Yes._** ”

“Were you there? Were you watching us and waiting for me to leave?” she asked, trying to figure out why he would have done something like that.

“ ** _I was. I felt that the most appropriate action to take was to watch and wait for you to leave before making my presence known to Alice and Nicole._** ”

“Why?”

“ ** _When we parted, you appeared to be distressed. I assumed it was related to your fellow magical girls’ discovery of you as ‘Sarah’ at my hands. At first, I did not understand why a detail such as that would cause you such distress. If you had wanted the existence of that name to be a secret, you would have asked me to only use that name when we are alone. As you did not, I assumed the name of ‘Sarah’ to be the only one that you wished to be called as you so seemed to desire yesterday morning. Regardless though, as it appeared to be my actions that distressed you I decided that the most appropriate action to take would be to remove my presence from your side to give you time to calm down. I planned to set aside twelve hours before returning to your side, but that plan required adjustments as Alice’s training lasted much longer than expected._** ”

She didn’t know what to say to something like that. Even after hearing Cypher’s explanation, a part of her still wanted to remain mad at him. According to his explanation, he really didn’t understand what was wrong about ‘outing’ her, but his actions still hurt regardless. Eventually, she just sighed and nodded her understanding as she got out of her chair. She had bigger things to be concerned about right now like making sure that her dad wouldn’t walk in soon and see a girl with twin tails standing in his child’s room. She took a deep breath before she focused on the energy that she had been holding onto the whole time that she had been transformed and slowly let it go. Just like before, her body was replaced with her normal one in a flash of light and she balled up her fists as she had to bite back a momentary flash of anger and hurt at herself at the body that she was back in. Eventually, the feelings of anger and hurt slowly leveled off as she climbed back into bed and did her best to get comfortable since Cypher seemed to have no intentions of moving from his spot on her bed.

###

“John? You awake?”

“Yeah dad,” she called back as she heard him outside her door.

“Want some breakfast before I leave for work?”

“No thanks, dad.”

“Okay then. See you tonight and good luck at school.”

“Thanks. Hope work goes well today,” she replied and waited until she heard his footsteps plodding down the hallway before she got out of bed to get ready.

“ ** _Sarah?_** ”

She paused as she heard Cypher’s voice and glanced over at him still curled up on her bed.

“ ** _When you last transformed, what was your emotional state?_** ”

“Umm, happy…and maybe excited too after yesterday’s events,” she replied, not sure why a question like that was important right then.

“ ** _That explains your change then._** ”

“What do you mean, ‘chan…” she began only to trail off as she caught her reflection in the mirror located in her bathroom. She could feel her eyes widen before she raced to her bathroom and stared at the flowers that were growing along her left arm. “What the hell are these?” she asked louder than she meant to as she turned and stared at Cypher.

“ ** _They are a remnant of your last transformation into a magical girl._** ”

“What do you mean they’re a ‘remnant’? This didn’t happen the first two times,” she replied as she gripped several of the flowers with her right hand and tried to pull them out only to gasp as she felt her entire body scream at her in pain for her attempt.

“ ** _Yes, but this transformation was different. I aided you in your first transformation and then your second transformation was not active for an adequate length of time to cause a change in your physical structure. This transformation though lasted multiple hours and was activated with a heightened emotional state. When a heightened emotional state is combined with your transformation into a magical girl, it often leaves remnants or imprints of its effects on your normal form such as these flowers for example. I am surprised that the flowers are hydrangeas though as they are normally lilies. Besides these remnants, there are also potential distortions that can be triggered by the discharge created when you revert to your normal form, but those are not relevant to the flowers currently growing outward from your flesh._** ”

“I don’t care what they are. I just want them gone,” Sarah said as she tried tugging on the flowers again only to quickly release her grip as the pain set in again.

“ ** _They are temporary. They will wilt and fall off your body once your body adapts to them and is then able to reject them. Until that occurs, you can continue your attempts to remove them, but the action and trauma of the attempt will be much like trying to remove your fingernail with pliers._** ”

“…why didn’t you tell me this yesterday?” she mumbled as she tried to focus on Cypher while focusing on keeping her breathing steady.

“ ** _I did not have an opportunity to talk to you about details such as this due to your reaction to my actions in the cafeteria and my decision to give you time to calm down after our miscommunication._** ”

Sarah balled up her fists, but she didn’t know what she could say against something like that. Instead, she just sighed and nodded her head again just like earlier before she slowly walked over to her closet to find a long-sleeve shirt to hide the flowers until she could get back home in the evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are two things that I'd like to mention about this story at this point. One is the incorporation of "changes and distortions" as related to magical girl transformations in this chapter. The original idea for this came from two pen and paper style RPGs by the names of Magical Burst and Magical Fury and I'm grateful to the creator of those RPGs for this concept as I like the idea of there being fallout that is left behind even after the "monster of the week" is defeated.
> 
> The second thing is that I will be adding additional tags to the story as we reach later chapters. I have thought previously about adding them before the chapters that they are relevant to, but I am beginning to believe that it would be best to hold off on them until after I post the relevant chapters as some of the tags that I will be adding will come off as spoilers otherwise.


	6. Chapter 06

~February 10, 2010~

Sarah wiped her hand across her forehead as she felt sweat beginning to form again before rubbing her hand against the side of her blue jeans so as to remove the sweat from her fingers. She sighed a little before she flipped to the next page in her textbook as she heard pages being turned all around her. As she listened to the teacher drone on, she tried to ignore the feeling of Alice staring at her from the seat behind her. When class had begun, Alice had tried to whisper to her, asking her if she was okay after she had walked into class already somewhat covered in sweat. She had whispered back to her that she’d explain at lunch. Since then, she’d tried to deal with the sweat as subtly as she could considering the fact that the academy had thought today to be the perfect day to turn the heating system up to max as well as the fact that she couldn’t roll up her left sleeve due to the damn flowers still growing on her. She clenched her jaw at that reminder. Temporary, her ass.

Right about then, the bell finally rang for lunch and Sarah was out of her seat and out the door in an instant. As she reached the hallway, she breathed a sigh of relief as at least the hallway wasn’t as hot as the classroom had been.

“Okay, what’s up with the long sleeve shirt?” Alice asked as she walked up next to her.

“It’s…” Sarah began only to pause as she remembered the large crowd of students who were currently occupying the hallway, “let’s go somewhere a bit more private first.”

“Magical girl related?” Alice asked only for Sarah to nod as they began to head down the hallway in the opposite direction as to the cafeteria.

“Yeah,” she replied, whispering so as to keep anybody from overhearing them, “so…Cypher said that he was with you and Nicole last night. Did he mention something to you two about distortions or changes that could happen with magical girl transformations? Like changes that would still remain even after returning to our normal forms?”

“Yeah, that thing did,” Alice replied before her eyes slowly widened, “wait, is that—”

“Uh huh,” she said, “that’s the reason for the long sleeves.” She paused in her steps as they rounded a corner and she carefully listened for the sound of anyone else’s footsteps, but she didn’t hear any. She slowly gripped the edge of her sleeve with her right hand and took a deep breath as she turned to face Alice. “…after how things went with you and Nicole, I couldn’t sleep this morning and I decided to go into town and have fun while transformed. After I got back home though, well, see for yourself,” she mumbled as she slowly rolled her sleeve up, exposing the long row of flowers that covered her left arm before she saw the shocked look on Alice’s face.

“…holy shit,” Alice eventually said, “have you tried–”

“Yep, and it hurts like hell,” she replied as she pulled the sleeve back down, “according to what Cypher said, they’re supposed to be just temporary though thank goodness. He said they would wilt and fall off with time. Anyway, let’s get to the cafeteria and find Nicole before she starts wondering if something happened to us.”

“All right, but are you sure that you’re okay? I mean, even if it’s just temporary, you still have _flowers_ growing out of your arm.”

“I’m sure. I think that I got over the worst of the shock when I saw them this morning. Right now, I’m more so just mad that they’re not gone yet instead of being worried about them and freaking out,” she said as they began to heard towards the cafeteria.

###

“See Nicole?” Sarah asked as she tried to focus on Alice’s presence at her side instead of the crowded and too loud cafeteria.

“Yeah, I see her,” Alice said as she began to walk forward, tray still in her hands, with Sarah following directly behind her.

As they made their way through the crowd, Sarah did what she could to keep her attention on Alice and mimic her moves so as to not bump into her by accident. She had actually thought that she was doing okay before they had originally reached the cafeteria, but that had since been exposed as being completely wrong. Ever since they had walked into the cafeteria, Sarah had struggled with keeping her breathing steady and trying to tune out the crowd of people that formed a mass all around them. While they had been in line to grab their lunch, Sarah had focused on constantly yanking at the edge of her sleeve again and again to make sure that none of the flowers could be seen by anyone. She _knew_ that the flowers weren’t visible though unless the sleeve were to be rolled back a decent bit, but that fact sadly didn’t help to put her mind at ease.

“Hey Nicole.”

Sarah froze as she heard Alice talking before she relaxed as she realized that they were finally at Nicole’s table.

“Hey, you two,” Nicole replied as she glanced up at them with a smile.

“Hi Nicole,” Sarah said as she sat down and finally let go of the death grip that she only then realized that she had on her tray, “and before you ask about the shirt, it’s because I transformed this morning and got stuck with one of Cypher’s so-called _temporary_ changes.”

“How are you handling it so far?”

“Like I told Alice, I’m okay. I just have to keep it hidden until everything’s back to normal,” Sarah replied before she noticed the bloodstained napkin next to Nicole’s tray, “Nicole, is that…did something happen?”

“It’s nothing to worry about. I promise,” Nicole said to both Sarah and Alice before pointing at her left eye—or more precisely, at the droplets of dry blood scattered along her lower eyelid. “After Cypher left, I snuck out and decided to do my own personal field-test in a small field a short distance away from my house to see what I was capable of until the sun came up.”

“Wait, why’d you sneak out without waking me up? I’d been happy to help you out with seeing what we’re capable of in those forms,” Alice asked only for Sarah to glance over at her.

“Alice, I thought that you were the one completely against the idea of being a magical girl?” she asked her while glancing around to make sure that no one was paying any attention to their conversation.

“I’m still against it, but since we don’t have a choice unless we want to die according to that _thing_ then I’m willing to put up with it so that I can survive,” Alice explained.

“And that was part of the reason why I decided to not wake you up besides the fact that you were sleeping so soundly,” Nicole said before her left eye began to bleed again and she lightly dabbed at it with the napkin.

“Just out of curiosity, Nicole, but what was going through your mind when you transformed?” Sarah asked as she remembered something that Cypher had said.

“Huh? Oh, um, I guess curiosity, maybe a bit excited,” Nicole replied, seeming to stumble over her words for a moment, “why?”

“I was just thinking about what Cypher said about emotional states and if certain states could cause certain changes. I mean, I was happy and excited when I transformed and was left with flowers growing on my arm afterwards. You though, you were curious and excited, and now you’re bleeding from your eye,” Sarah said as a part of her yelled at her to stop acting as if people suddenly bleeding from their eyes and growing flowers on their arms was normal.

“Wait, you grew flowers on your arm? That’s what’s under your sleeve?”

Sarah nodded even though there was a small part of her that wanted to laugh at the slight disbelief in Nicole’s voice before she reminded herself that someone suddenly bleeding from their eye was not nearly as strange a change as someone’s body suddenly sprouting flowers.

Right about then, the bell rang singling the end of the lunch period and Sarah glanced down at the tray still full of food in front of her. “…great, now the bell rings,” she mumbled before glancing up at Nicole and Alice, “meet up after our last class and walk home?”

“Okay.”

“Sounds good.”


	7. Chapter 07

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to let everybody know in advance, as a warning, there are hints of domestic abuse in this chapter.

~February 10, 2010~

Sarah heard the final bell of the day ring and sighed with relief as the last of the flowers fell down into the toilet before she flushed the damn things down. For the past ten minutes, she had been in the school bathroom ever since she noticed her left arm itching in class. She’d gotten permission to leave class and had rolled up her sleeve once she had reached the bathroom and locked the stall door. When she did, whole patches of wilted flowers had almost instantly fallen off of her skin and quickly grown into a small pile on the floor. From there, she’d just had to wait and try to not to scratch her arm as the rest fell off in what seemed to be waves.

Once she was sure that the flowers were completely flushed, she unlocked the latch on the stall door and stepped towards the mirror so that she could inspect the now red patches that coated her left arm. She checked over her entire arm for any sign that she had ever sprouted flowers from her skin, but she was unable to find anything besides the leftover redness. With a relieved smile, she slowly pulled her sleeve back down before she left the bathroom to go find Alice and Nicole.

“ ** _Sarah._** ”

Sarah paused as she heard her name just as she rounded the corner of the hallway and glanced around before she saw an all-too familiar white cat on the floor looking up at her. “Cypher,” she replied, “what are you doing here?”

“ ** _More of the creatures that you fought before have arrived. Alice and Nicole are waiting for you just outside this building._** ”

Sarah felt her body freeze at those words—at the realization that they were about to have to fight again just like before.

“ ** _Sarah, you must go now. There is no time to waste._** ”

Even at those words though, Sarah still couldn’t make her body move until she felt Cypher clamber onto her shoulder and lightly sink his claws into her skin through her shoulder. As she began to make her way towards the front of the building, Cypher thankfully lessened his grip on her shoulder. Once he did, she was able to focus better on weaving her way through the crowd as well as she could.

Eventually, she reached the front entrance and headed down the steps before she glanced around, trying to find Alice and Nicole in the sea of students that were in front of the school.

“ ** _To your left. Just in front of the parked vehicles._** ”

Sarah glanced over at where he said and saw Alice and Nicole waving at her. “Thank you,” she mumbled to him before she made her way over to them.

“Did Cypher already tell you?” Nicole asked.

Sarah nodded her head before she heard Cypher speaking from his spot on her shoulder.

“ ** _I informed Sarah that the creatures have returned. Now, we must hurry before they cause damage. They are currently two hundred yards south of the school._** ”

###

It took them nearly ten minutes, but eventually the four of them arrived in front of an alleyway that fit the exact location that Cypher had said.

“Cypher, where are they? I don’t see anything like those things that attacked us back at the subway station,” Sarah asked, gripping her amulet through her shirt just in case something was about to happen.

“ ** _They are here. Quickly, transform into your magical girl forms._** ”

The three of them did as he asked and quickly transformed only to see the very air around them flicker as if the very world itself was suffering a software glitch.

“What the hell?”

“What’s going on?”

“Cypher, what is this?” Sarah yelled as her body began to shake—quietly at first, but quickly growing in intensity. She didn’t know why, but something felt _wrong_. Very wrong. And it wasn’t just the fact that the world itself seemed to be glitching around them.

**_“This can’t be…I sensed shades, but why are there revenants here?”_ **

“Revenants? What are you—” Sarah tried to ask only for everything to suddenly go dark. “Alice! Nicole! Cypher! Where are you guys?” she yelled, but the only response that she heard was the echo of her own voice. She could feel her breathing quicken and she wrapped her arms around herself and closed her eyes as she slowly began to count until her breathing had slowed. Once it had, she felt a cool wind blow against her cheek and she snapped her eyes open only to see that the pitch-back darkness was no more.

“…what…what the hell is this?” she whispered to no one but herself as she stared at the wood paneling that formed walls at her sides and behind her. In front of her though, was a staircase that seemed to lead up towards a doorway that appeared as empty as the darkness that originally surrounded her had been. She slowly took one shaky step towards the staircase before she felt her body beginning to shake again just like it had when the world seemed to be glitching around them. She took a deep breath as she tried to ignore the shaking before she focused on summoning her sword to her hand. It appeared in a flash and she quickly gripped the hilt with both of her hands before she resumed walking. She hoped that maybe some of the shaking would ease off thanks to the sword now in her hands, but for whatever reason, it didn’t. Instead, the sword just bobbed up and down in her shaky hands as she made her way step by step up the staircase.

As she reached the doorway, she stopped in her tracks before she slowly took her left hand off of the hilt of her sword and gingerly reached towards the emptiness beyond the door. As she did so though, a small pale white hand reached _through_ the emptiness and slowly entwined its fingers with hers. For just a moment, she felt a warmth that was almost comforting in a way at the feel of the soft fingers entwined with her own before she tried to scream as the pale hand _yanked_ her into the emptiness beyond the door.

Giggling.

That single sound was all that she could hear as the emptiness that now surrounded her seemed to slowly _shrink away_ from her. She glanced down at her hands—both of which were clenched tightly around the hilt of her sword—and didn’t see any sign of the pale fingers that had grabbed her before. “…keep calm, Sarah. Focus on that,” she whispered to herself as she took a single step forward and had her earlier suspicion confirmed as the emptiness around her retreated from her. As it did so, she was able to make out some of her surroundings: rotting planks under her feet, cracks in the plaster on the ceiling above her, and a small table just ahead of her. She took a few more steps towards the table and paused as she noticed a small photograph lying face-down on the table. She slowly reached for the photograph and began to turn it over only to freeze as she saw the bloodstains that marred it. She forced herself to take a deep breath as she brought the photo closer to her face so that she could see what was on it, but all that she could make out underneath the bloodstains was a small child with a smile so broken that even Sarah could almost see the pain hidden behind it.

Right then though, she heard a noise that sounded just like a door being slammed so hard that it splintered on contact. Instinctively, she jumped before bringing her sword up and looking around wide-eyed. In her panic, she hadn’t even noticed that she’d dropped the photograph until she saw it catch fire and shrivel up just in front of her feet.

“Wha—whatever you are, come out!” she said, stumbling over her words in her attempt to try to sound as if she had anything under control.

For a moment, she didn’t hear anything and she decided to take another step only to pause as she heard sobbing. To her ears, it sounded like the same voice that had been giggling earlier. She could feel her breathing becoming rougher as her body began to shake again. If she had thought that everything around her had felt wrong before—it was far worse now. Even so though, she slowly pushed herself to try to follow the sound of the voice. As she did so though, her mind screamed at her to stop walking, but she didn’t listen. She tried to remind herself that Cypher had tried to say something about a ‘revenant’ before she found herself in this place. With each step, she tried to tell herself that this ‘revenant’ or whatever it was was just another creature like the things in the subway. If it was what was giggling earlier and sobbing now, then maybe if she…if she killed it like those things, then maybe she would find herself back in the alleyway with Alice, Nicole, and Cypher.

Eventually, she found herself in front of a closed door. She took a deep breath as she readied herself for whatever kind of a creature a ‘revenant’ was and slowly placed her hand on the doorknob. As she began to turn it though, she felt the door easily open and only then realized that the latch part on the side of the door was broken. She tried to not focus on that detail though as she gripped her sword and stepped inside, glancing around quickly for any sign of the revenant. She didn’t see anything though except for a sparse room coated in dust, but she could still hear the sobbing. She was almost certain that it was coming from the far side of the bed and she slowly inched her way through the room as silently as she could.

As she reached the corner of the bed, she raised her sword before she rounded the corner only to freeze mid-attack as she saw a little kid staring up at her with wide eyes. Her mind yelled at her that it was the revenant that Cypher had said. It yelled at her to bring her sword down and kill it, but she couldn’t. Instead, she dropped the sword and collapsed to the floor before staring downward at the wooden planks as she struggled to try to decide what to do—completely oblivious to the fact that the kid or revenant or whatever it was was just outside her vision.

After a few moments, she realized that everything had gone silent and she glanced up only to see the kid staring at her and she could tell that their entire body was shaking even if they seemed to be trying to hide it. As she continued to look at them though, she began to realize that they _felt_ different from everything else that she had been through so far. She could still feel a sense of wrongness around herself, but the kid didn’t have the same feel. Instead, all that she could feel was a wave of pain. Part of her began to wonder if just maybe this kid was trapped here somehow just like her. Maybe the revenant was somewhere else.

“Are…are you here for me?”

Sarah blinked as she heard the kid finally speak. “Um,” she began, attempting to smile while her mind tried to think of what to say.

“It’s okay if you aren’t.”

“No, no, I’m here to get you out, promise.”

“You don’t have to lie.”

“Okay, you’re right. I didn’t even know that another person was here until I saw you, but I wasn’t lying about helping to get you out of here.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Um, sure,” Sarah replied caught off-guard somewhat as she noticed that the kid had seemed to ignore what she had just said about helping to get them out of this place.

“Could we just…stay here and talk for a bit, please?”

Sarah nodded and attempted to smile as softly as she could as she slowly began to piece together at least a little bit of what she had seen and heard earlier. “Sure. We’ll get out of here when you’re ready.”

“Thank you, miss…”

“Sarah, and you are?”

“Alex.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First and foremost, if anyone was bothered or offended by this chapter, please let me know. At present, I'm currently not 100 percent happy with this chapter myself and I'm not sure if I'm going to keep it as is or update it with a different version as soon as possible. And also, sorry for any potential typos as well as the general rough draft feel of the whole thing. Been having trouble trying to sleep at all since the massacre in Orlando the Sunday morning before last.


	8. Chapter 08

~February 10, 2010~

“Sarah!”

“Are you okay? What happened?”

Sarah groaned as she heard the voices speaking to her and slowly opened her eyes to see Alice and Nicole back in their normal non-magical forms standing over her. “…yeah…yeah, I’m okay,” she said as she sat up before quickly looking around, “wait, where’s Alex?”

“Who’s Alex?”

Sarah snapped her head up at Alice as she heard the question. “A little kid that I met. I promised them that I would get them out safely. Where are they?” she asked, her sentences coming out a bit more rapid-fired than she intended, as she clumsily got to her feet and looked around again.

“ ** _You returned alone, Sarah. No one was with you._** ”

“But I…when we…” she began only to trail off as she tried to remember exactly _what_ had happened before she heard Alice and Nicole’s voices. She remembered talking to Alex for what had seemed like hours and then she had taken their hand. After that though, her mind was a complete blank.

“ ** _Did you confront the revenant?_** ”

Sarah was shaken out of her thoughts by Cypher’s voice. “I…I’m not sure.”

“ ** _Did you encounter anyone outside of the child that you are concerned about?_** ”

“No, I didn’t see anyone else.”

“ ** _Then the revenant is still alive._** ”

“Then Alex…”

“ ** _Yes._** ”

Sarah could feel her breathing stop as that single word hit her. Alex really _hadn’t_ been the revenant and she…she had originally nearly brought her sword down to try to kill them.

“Sarah, are you okay? You’re shaking,” Nicole asked as she lightly touched Sarah’s shoulder.

“Yeah,” she replied, nodding her head stiffly before she caught Cypher staring at her. Something about the way that his head was tilted told her that he _knew_ what she had almost done to Alex. Somehow, _he_ knew. “Cypher, if Alex wasn’t the revenant, then what were they and why aren’t they here?”

“ ** _Let us head towards your homes and I’ll explain on the way. Before we do though, I would advise that you return to your normal form, Sarah. The link between your essence and your magical form is almost exhausted and if you remain in your current form much longer then you will fall unconscious._** ”

“But…fine,” Sarah replied. She felt fine physically, but she still did as he asked. She focused on the energy that connected her to her magical girl form and slowly let it slip away from her fingers as she felt her form change to her normal self. After a moment, she saw him begin walking away and tried to take a step only to feel her legs shake and try to collapse underneath her.

“Hey, we got you.”

“Seriously Sarah, are you really okay?”

She nodded her head as she heard Alice and Nicole talking to her as they both helped her remain standing before helping her to walk. “Really, I’m okay. Just feeling really weak for some reason,” she explained as her mind tried to figure out _why_ though. After all, she had been fine right before she swapped back to her normal self.

“ ** _It is because you were in a revenant’s space. They utilize dimensional spaces in a similar manner to the bubbles that I protected each of you with when we first met._** ”

“So…while I was in that _space_ …or place or whatever…you guys were still here?”

“Yeah, when everything started ‘glitching out’, we saw you just disappear,” Alice said, “it was almost like you blinked out of existence or something like that.”

“I guess that explains the darkness that I remember seeing after everything started glitching,” Sarah replied as they continued walking, “by the way, how long was I gone? It felt like hours inside that place.”

“A minute, maybe a little less,” Nicole said.

Sarah nodded her head before she glanced at Cypher and decided to try to get his attention. “Cypher?”

“ ** _Yes?_** ”

“You said that the reason that I’m feeling so weak right now is because I was in a revenant’s space, but you didn’t say exactly why or how it affected me.”

“ ** _Revenant’s spaces are formed and held together through the same essence that each of you utilize to transform into your magical girl form. All revenants have essence, but unlike magical girls, they are unable to naturally replenish their reserves of essence. To overcome this limitation, revenants draw humans such as the child that you call Alex into their spaces and feed on their small stores of essence. Rarely, they will attempt to draw magical girls into their spaces once they sense the large reservoir of essence inside you. In either case, regrettably, humans in general have a breaking point and most reach that point quickly while inside a revenant’s space due to their inability to adapt to the world inside the revenant’s space. Once they reach that point, their ability to replenish essence is broken and the revenant establishes a new space at a new location. When you were with the child, you must have done something to sever their connection to the revenant and cause the revenant to retreat to a new location._** ”

“All that I did was talk and listen to them,” Sarah said as her mind tried to sort out everything that Cypher had just said about revenants and tried to keep her body from shivering at not even _wanting_ to know how the revenant had been feeding on her essence without her even realizing it.

###

“Sure that you’ll be okay?”

“I’m sure, Nicole,” Sarah replied as she managed to unlock the door before Alice and Nicole helped her inside, “I just need to rest for a little while.”

“If you say so,” Alice said before she and Nicole lowered Sarah onto the couch, “need anything before we go though?”

“No.”

“Give us a call if you do, all right?” Nicole asked.

“I will,” she replied, “and thanks, you guys.”

“No problem. See you tomorrow, Sarah,” Alice said before she turned to leave.

“Take care,” Nicole added with a small smile before she turned and left as well, closing the door behind her.

As she heard the door close, Sarah closed her eyes as she tried to relax in the darkness of her living room while hoping that she would feel well enough to walk again before her dad got home from work. What she really wanted though was to sleep, but she knew that her dad would be worried about her if he found her collapsed in her bed this early in the evening.

“ ** _Sarah, you mentioned earlier that you only “talked and listened” to the child while you were trapped inside the revenant’s space. What was the conversation about?_** ”

“I can’t tell you,” she replied, “I promised Alex that I would keep it secret.”

“ ** _Why? There is no reason to keep a promise such as that now._** ”

“What do you mean?” she asked, finally opening her eyes and glancing downward at Cypher on the floor in front of the couch.

“ ** _Because the child is dead._** ”

“What?” she asked before wincing at how loud her voice had been, “but why…how can you be sure?”

“ ** _When you returned, you returned alone. Before that, you had severed the revenant’s connection to the child and caused the space to collapse. When dimensional spaces collapse, creatures caught inside them return to their rightful places of origin. With that in mind–_** ”

“Alex is dead because if they…if they weren’t then they would have been with me when I came back,” she asked, intentionally interrupting him before he could finish, “that’s right, isn’t it?”

“ ** _Yes._** ”

She took a deep breath before she awkwardly attempted to try to retrieve her phone from her pocket. How could he be so calm about someone being dead? No, not calm. When he had said that Alex was dead, he had made it sound almost _clinical_.

She shook her head to try to get her mind off of Cypher’s words as she managed to retrieve her phone only to groan as she realized that it wouldn’t turn on. She let the phone drop to the floor before she realized that she couldn’t hear anything except for her own breathing–which was quickly speeding up–and the sudden thud as her phone hit the carpet. At the very least, she should have been able to hear the refrigerator running, but everything was silent. She glanced towards the open door of the kitchen and noticed that the LED display on the stove was also off.

It was just a power outage.

Just a power outage.

With that realization, she tried to focus on those four words over and over as she slowly got her breathing back under control. Just as she did so though, she heard the refrigerator start up in the kitchen and realized the electricity was back before she saw the screen of her phone glowing from its resting place on the floor. “What the hell…” she mumbled before groaning as she reached down to grab the phone and blinked in surprise as she saw how full the battery bar still was.

“ ** _It was a distortion, Sarah, but it is now over. I first noticed it once we began to pass in front of buildings on our way here and observed the lights in each location going out as we passed by._** ”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“ ** _In your weakened state, I thought it best to not draw attention to such things. I feared that you would overreact and worsen your current condition._** ”

She slowly nodded her head. She could understand that line of reasoning, but she was really starting to get tired of Cypher only telling her things when _he_ deemed it okay to do so. What could she say though? If she called him out on it, he’d probably just come up with more reasons as justification for why he only told her things at certain times and then they would be right back where they started conversation-wise. She mentally groaned and closed her eyes before she mumbled, “you said that it was over now, so…mind telling me why it didn’t last anywhere as long as last time?”

“ ** _As I said, this was a distortion. It was not a remnant of your transformation as the flowers were. Distortions are a normal byproduct that are sometimes created from the discharge that is generated when you return to your normal form. This particular distortion simply knocked out all electronics in your vicinity such as your phone and the lights in the buildings that we passed earlier. As for the difference in regards to the length of time each change lasted, distortions are almost universally inclined to last a much shorter time than remnants due to how they are created. Do you understand?_** ”

“Yeah, I do,” she mumbled as she decided to see if her body had finally regained any of its strength. She slowly attempted to push herself up from the couch and held onto the armrest as tight as she could as she worked on trying to make her legs steady. She breathed a sigh of relief as she finally managed to steady her legs enough and thought about going into the kitchen to fix something light for her dad to eat when he got home before she suddenly felt dizzy. She clenched her eyes shut and tried to focus on her grip on the armrest as she waited for the dizzy spell to finally pass. Eventually, she felt the spell begin to fade and, instead of going into the kitchen, slowly began to make her way towards the stairs while using the wall to help keep her steady.

She had told herself earlier that she didn’t want her dad to come in and see her collapsed in her bed, but at this point she didn’t care. After that dizzy spell, she didn’t want to risk trying to fix anything for her dad and at least if she was in her bed then she could just claim that she was tired or something like that.

As she slowly took each step up the stairs, she could see Cypher out of the corner of her eye just a single step behind her. She tried to not focus on him though and instead tried to focus on keeping her balance. With one last step though, she was finally on the second floor of the house and had to resist the urge to tempt her luck by quickening her walking speed. She managed to resist the urge though and slowly made her way to her room only to collapse onto her bed the moment that she was inside her room and close enough to it.

###

“John? John?”

Sarah groaned as she slowly opened her eyes and saw her dad’s worried face in front of her. She tried to smile a little as the gears in her brain creakily started to turn. “Hi dad,” she slurred before yawning.

“Feel bad?”

She shook her head to try to give herself an extra moment to come up with what to tell him. “Just tired,” she replied and took a deep breath, “…I…I had an attack at school. I went down the wrong hallway by accident and got caught in a crowd. I couldn’t keep my breathing calm, my chest was hurting, and I started getting dizzy. Alice and Nicole found me though and helped me to an empty classroom. They stayed with me until I finally calmed down. I guess that it’s a good thing that I made a couple of friends, right?” On the last word, she tried to add a little half smirk and was glad to see the worry fade somewhat from her dad’s face.

“Yeah, it is, but I’m just glad that you’re okay,” her dad said before smirking just a little, “and just so you know, since you’re okay, you’re going to be the one to vacuum the house this weekend.”

“Why me?”

“Look at your feet.”

Sarah stared at her dad for a moment before she glanced down at her feet and realized that she was still wearing her shoes. “Fine,” she replied only for her dad’s smirk to change to a smile as he stood up.

“Do you need anything before I head downstairs?”

Sarah smiled a little as she shook her head.

“Okay then. Just yell if you do need anything.”

“I will,” she replied as she watched her dad walk away and close her door before she sighed. She hated lying to him like that, but it was the only thing that she could think of that he would both believe and wouldn’t cause him to worry too much. Even so though, if she could actually get out of bed right then and walk downstairs without him realizing that she was there, she knew the exact state that she would find her dad in: sitting at the kitchen table, his shoulders slumped, and talking to her mother’s photograph.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to let everybody know, I've been mulling over some of my later ideas for this story and I'm considering expanding this story into a multi-part series and I was wondering if people would be interested in seeing this story as a series instead of a single fic.
> 
> Part of my reason for considering making this a multi-part series is because after glancing back over what I've written so far as well as my notes for later on, there are two central concepts/ideas that this story focuses on from my perspective. Those two concepts/ideas are the exploration of gender identity in regards to transgender characters in a magical girl story and the exploration of short-term and long-term effects of having magical girl elements in a slice-of-life style story that spans multiple years.


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